Peace during Troubled Waters

Ashlyn has stopped sobbing, the boys are finally settled down, and the baby is asleep on the couch after insisting on me dropping all else to rock him. Eric's at work, my house still needs to be picked up, I haven't even started getting things ready for our 6am departure to Thatcher for my Uncle's funeral, and I'm exhausted. Yet, somehow, I'm okay. As I was rocking Ian, I was looking around the house at all the beautiful pictures of my family and felt an overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude. I have a feeling that life is going to be upside down for awhile. There is so much I want to do without the time to do it. Most of the time I struggle to get the necessities done. I've had a breakdown or two (or three or four), mostly due to my misalignment of priorities. I've been running on fumes for the past three weeks. I tell everyone that I'm doing great and all is well, but am deeply grateful for the insightful friends who bring dinner over anyway and invite my children to come and play. I'm forever indebted to a sister who dropped everything (and a brother-in-law who picked it all up) to come and take a baby shift through the night so I could get some much needed sleep and then worked all day to help me get ready for company. I love my guests who send me off to nap and give my kids some much needed attention. I'm thankful for a husband who takes the time to tell me that I'm doing great and that he thinks I'm amazing - even when I don't feel like I'm doing so hot.

I love my family. I'm crazy over the tiny little person who has thrown my life into a whirlwind and wouldn't trade him in for anything - not even sleep! :) My house may not be perfect (has it ever been?!?), I may not make it out of my pajamas before bedtime, and my kids may be a little out of control sometimes, but I have the best life! So many wonderful things have happened these last few weeks, and I hope to make the time to write about them so I can remember them forever, but it might not be as often as I'd like. Be patient with me - the baby just woke up and he's hungry....